I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
