Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
