is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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