Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Randomize
