hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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