Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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