Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
