please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
