yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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