yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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