I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
