he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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