so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
