I think my fart just growled at me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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