is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
