he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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