i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm passing your future prison.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
