that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
this is an emotional support booty call
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
