I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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