if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
