Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
