I met the friendliest cop last night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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