i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
