smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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