i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
