He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
