Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
