We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
