I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
