This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You need Xanax blowdarts
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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