I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry about my life...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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