I think I died a long time ago.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
