she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
