If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
