He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
