She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize