But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My cat gives me a boner
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
