She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
