And the cops told us we were all naked.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
