Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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