Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
