I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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