Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
