Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize