i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
