I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize