Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Two words: nipple clamps
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