Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
