i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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