I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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