You can't motorboat a personality
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize