Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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