Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
