Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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