I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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