If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
