I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
this is an emotional support booty call
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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