he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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