Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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