ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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