The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
