Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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