Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
