I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
