omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
