So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
