is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
