The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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