I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
