There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
