it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just invented taco cereal.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Im part way to drunk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
