I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
