apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
