it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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