I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
