Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
