It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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