who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize